The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex carries enormous significance and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, nearness, love, and well-being .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in cities, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sex. Numerous gay men wish to discover from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.". more
I do desire to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to go to the website your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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