The Sensuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, making love brings immense significance and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to extremely difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, love, closeness, and well-being .

However when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that a lot of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in city locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Many gay guys want to find out from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be find out this here there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual this chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your find more information heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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